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Married Life

6 out of 10 People Not Trying Hard Enough

Wow, Daters. Did you know that 6 out of 10 people are unhappy with their relationships? That’s a lot of people. 60% in fact (I should’ve done maths and stuff).

The Daily Mail reported last week that: “More than six out of ten adults in a relationship admit there is a lot they could do to improve their love life – and four out of ten admit they have considered leaving their partner.

One in ten no longer even trusts their partner.

6 out of 10 Couples Unhappy With Relatonships

More than half of those polled said their partner was no longer the ‘affectionate and giving’ person they were when they first started dating.

And for 33 per cent acts of spontaneity – such as booking romantic trips away, cooking a favourite meal or bursting in with a bouquet of flowers – are all but dead-and-gone.”

People do try harder at the start of their relationships – that’s just a matter of hormones. We are given floods of spontaneity hormones and a drive to want to please our partners, courtesy of love-drugs such as dopamine and seratonin flooding our nervous systems.

But it’s not designed to last (we’d barely eat or sleep if it did!), Daters, which is why it naturally wears off over time, only to be replaced by more placid, comforting, bonding hormones that keep couples in longterm relationships.

Of course we all crave that initial excitement, for the rest of our lives. And with a little effort, even couples that have been married for years can recapture it.

But that’s the problem. That particular plan smacks of effort. And we humans are nothing if not inherently lazy.

So I say? 6 out of 10 people need to try harder.

The top 5 complaints about relationships were:

1. Lack of spontaneity
2. Lack of romance
3. Terrible sex life
4. No time to give each other attention
5. Lack of time to talk

Quite honestly, I feel ridonkulous even spelling this solution out for people because to us, it’s so blaringly obvious. It’s the same drum we’ve been beating for two years now, and will keep beating until people hear us.

To have a romantic, exciting relationship – to have a relationship where you can give each other attention and can talk properly on a regular basis – all of which will lead to a great sex life… it’s as simple as making time for each other and rekindling that dating couple that you used to be.

DATE NIGHT. Do date night. Regularly. Do new things every week. Take it in turns to do new things every week. Get inspiration from the ridiculously easy date ideas generator that we made especially for you!

If you don’t TAKE the time, you’ll never HAVE the time.

I’m sorry, but this is not Hollywood. Romance doesn’t “just happen”. It’s going to require some effort at the start, and then before you know it, it will become natural. You’ll be part of a loving couple. Get yourselves into the routine and stop bitching about it when you haven’t even tried to make it work properly yet.

Too harsh?

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Author |

Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.

Discussion

One comment for “6 out of 10 People Not Trying Hard Enough”

  1. Posted by Elizabeth | June 21, 2010, 7:04 am

    If your partner was an employee, would you hire – or fire – him or her? I’d say 60% would be about the same rate of people who are unhappy in their jobs…
    Dating is just like a job interview, hopefully you don’t take the role just because you’re desperate! Plus, you do your homework before you sign that contract. Some people are better-suited to uh, freelance.

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