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MX Columns

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Can You Be in Love With Two People at Once?

Can You Be in Love With Two People at Once?

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…” Forget Browning and all her permutations of love. What about counting the amount of people you can love all at once? Whatever number that is, surely it can’t take more than the fingers on one hand to sum them up (?). Is it possible to [...]

Should Girls Ask Guys Out?

Should Girls Ask Guys Out?

Equality between the sexes has come a long way. But even after decades of increasingly fairer pay, job roles, rights and more, we’re still stuck on one area in particular… Love. The big question is: should girls ask guys out? As a woman, I think I can safely speak for a vast majority when I [...]

Bending The Rules

It may not be politically correct of me (and it won’t make me popular), but you should know that I’m a Rules girl. If you’re not familiar with the popular but exceedingly sneered-upon franchise, The Rules has alternately been called a Dating Bible for single women

Why Pick Up Lines Don’t Work

Why Pick Up Lines Don’t Work

My last few weekends have been spent on many a dancefloor at many a club, burning up the kind of energy usually reserved for singles on the prowl. It’s not often you find a married, with-a-mortgage female out dancing until 4am on a chilly night when DVDs and the couch are putting up a damn [...]

Are You Kind of a Jerk to Your Partner?

Time has a way of eroding relationships, doesn’t it? What often starts full of promise, love and joy can easily turn to resentment, frustration and bitter words after a few years together. Suddenly it is not enough just to be around them, as it once was. Little things they say or do start to drive [...]

Why First Loves are Special

Why First Loves are Special

There was once a simpler time, not so long ago, when the past would stay happily and anonymously where it belonged: far behind you. Exes, one night stands, bad mistakes… you used to be able to quickly forget them, change a routine or two (avoid the café your ex loves for breakfast, ditch the nightclub [...]

Regrets of Relationships Past

Regrets of Relationships Past

I read a quote once that said: “Regret is insight that comes a day too late.” Love brings us great joy but can also be our biggest source of disappointment and regret. Almost everyone has some sort of regrets of relationships past. There’s the girl you were too scared to ask out in high school, [...]

When You Don’t Want to Pick Up at Bars

When You Don’t Want to Pick Up at Bars

It had an epiphany last week on a dancefloor. Somewhere between Like a Prayer and Summer Rain (it was 80s night), I finally realised with absolute clarity that clubs and bars are far from the optimal situation for meeting new people. For a start, most people are fall-down wasted after a few too many Sambuca [...]

The Break Up We Have to Have

Well guys, this is kind of awkward. I wish I could do it in person and face-to-face, rather than sending you a memo like this. I think every break up deserves that at least. So, I’m sorry to take the coward’s way out. But I’ve always been better at organising my thoughts on paper anyway. [...]

How to Chat Up Women Right

How to Chat Up Women Right

Women may well recognise this little scenario. You’re standing in a bar with a girlfriend. (Perhaps slightly intoxicated) man enters, stage left. “Hi. How are you ladies?” We’re good, thanks. “Having a good night?” Yes, it’s great. The questions just keep coming, fired off in quick succession with little regard for the answers or any [...]

You Sent Me What? (Why Dick Pics Are Not Okay)

You Sent Me What? (Why Dick Pics Are Not Okay)

It happened to a girlfriend just recently: what started as some flirty text messages between her and a new guy somehow culminated in him sending – completely unprompted – a photo of his erect penis. You might be shocked at that, but the truth is she’s not the only one lately to cop an unexpected [...]

Is 50 Shades of Grey Just the Same as Porn?

Is 50 Shades of Grey Just the Same as Porn?

I’m sure I’m not the only person in town who’s purchased a copy of 50 Shades of Grey for a friend. Women everywhere are reading it, egged on by converted enthusiasts who are lending, gifting and impressing the book upon all their friends. I had a copy gift wrapped for a mum of two young [...]

Like Poison for Relationships…

Like Poison for Relationships…

Contempt. You’ve seen it on people’s faces before: curled lip, chin raised up, a sneer… maybe an eye roll. Think Sophie Mirabella during a medical emergency. It’s an uncomfortable thing to be in the same room with. But what’s really awful is when you see someone look at their partner that way. I talked last [...]

R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Do You Have It?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T… All I’m askin’… Is for a little respect when you come home (Ooh). They were the catchy lyrics that came to mean so much more than a frothy pop song usually amounts to. Set against the context of the civil rights movements in 1967, the song that tells the story of a relationship on [...]

How to Tell When You’ve Crossed the Line

I wrote last week about the pitfall that is the Emotional Affair – when you get far too attached to a platonic friend and it becomes somewhat of a betrayal to your partner, even if you’ve technically not crossed any lines. But it’s these fuzzy lines of friendship that really interest me. If they’re so [...]

Are You Having an Emotional Affair?

Are You Having an Emotional Affair?

We know that these days – where there are more females in the workforce than ever before, where they take more equal job positions than men – the parameters of male-female friendships are constantly being redefined to fit our modern world. We’ve come a long way since Mad Men. But even so, the parameters for [...]

When the Eiffel Tower is Just Too Small

My friend M was dating a perplexing girl for awhile. They’d go to dinner, and as soon as they were seated at their table, she’d disappear. The vanishing act would continue all night – right after entrée, again after main and then once dessert had finished. She’d be gone for fifteen minutes at a time, [...]

Fifty Shades of What Women Want

Fifty Shades of What Women Want

Take a careful look at that woman on the train engrossed in her e-reader. Is there a small, satisfied smile on her face? Is she shifting uncomfortably in her seat… looking a little hot under the collar, perhaps? If she is, it’s entirely possible that she’s up to something that she doesn’t want you to [...]

Are the Days of First Dates Over?

Are the Days of First Dates Over?

For all the pressure put on the occasion, first dates are never a good indicator of the raging success of a relationship. There are so many rules surrounding this most daunting of dating customs. We’re told we must stand out from the crowd – choose a unique venue, say the right things, wear the right [...]

Missing You

Missing You

Den and I have been together long time. A long, long time. Longer than any of our previous relationships. In dog years, we’re middle aged. In Kardashian years, we should have been dead and buried ten times over already. A month ago, he went away overseas. He’s not coming back for another whole month. He’s [...]

Who Has Your Ex Been Poking on Facebook?

Who Has Your Ex Been Poking on Facebook?

It’s always been the Murphy’s Law of the dating universe – that the one time you’re doing the milk run with greasy hair, trackies and Ugg boots is the exact moment you’re going to bump into your ex. If the love gods are feeling particularly cruel, the ex will have a new squeeze on their [...]

How You’re Probably Killing Your Libido

How You’re Probably Killing Your Libido

Lost, one libido. Answers to the name of Larry. Careful, may be bitey. The daily commute. Long working hours. Low energy. High interest rates… I don’t mean to depress you, but I’m worried. The worrying is also worrying, because it’s only further adding to the problem. What problem, you ask? That would be the missing [...]

What to do When You Hate Valentine’s Day

What to do When You Hate Valentine’s Day

I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m a cheap date. You have to be when you own a business called $30 Date Night. When Den takes me out on the town, it barely ever sets us back more than $40 – and that’s when we’re splurging. Ditto when I take him [...]

Those Three Words

Those Three Words

I love you. Three tiny, little words capable of big things. They carry much weight, those three words. It’s somewhat of a currency early in a relationship – saying ‘I love you’ is a major milestone, an indicator that you are no longer just fooling around, that you have something real together. Hearing it back [...]

Has True Love Officially Carked It?

Has True Love Officially Carked It?

Forgive me while I fixate for a bit longer on keeping relationships alive. I was ready to let it go after last week’s column, but then Seal and Heidi dropped their bombshell on us all, leaving us with the fallout – true love has been obliterated to smithereens all around us. Everywhere you look, people [...]

If Your Days Really Were Numbered…

If Your Days Really Were Numbered…

Forget the apocalypse, if we keep modelling our relationships on celebrity marriages and chasing sky-high Hollywood rom-com expectations, we’re all doomed.

How to: Support your partner when they’re stressed

It’s moving week. I told you all about it a few weeks ago – how I was expecting to be tired, at my wit’s end and neck deep in boxes by now. Well, I’m all that. And to add to the fun, all the expected relationship stress has peaked this week as well. So now [...]

Weddings & Princesses

Weddings & Princesses

Weddings and princesses. Diehard fans of both these things know they have something in common. Both give us hope. Hope that there’s something magical going on out there. That fairytales really do exist. And that true love is real. Let’s start with princesses. So rare, kids can be forgiven for thinking they’re make-believe. When I [...]

He Loves Me? He Loves Me Not? Why Women are Suckers for Mixed Messages

He Loves Me? He Loves Me Not? Why Women are Suckers for Mixed Messages

It’s official: Women have a thing for Mr. Mysterious. To be exact, women like a man more if they’re unsure about whether he’s interested in them or not. They thrive on it, in fact. A recent study, titled “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not…” and using only women as the test subjects, had two [...]

The Sad Truth About Online PDAs

The Sad Truth About Online PDAs

We got hot ‘n’ heavy last week talking about the etiquette involved in Public Displays of Affection (PDA). Like everything else, the PDA has adapted with our tech-savvy world and what we now also have is the original PDA’s pixellated cousin – the ODA (Online Display of Affection). Listing status updates like “I love my [...]

The Dos and Don’ts of PDAs

The Dos and Don’ts of PDAs

We’ve all been there. Smack-bang in the middle of a sensational make out session that we’re not actually a part of. Out at a bar recently, my table was treated to some free entertainment courtesy of a young couple pressed against the wall next to us. They weren’t just kissing. They were engaged in a [...]

Supporting Your Partner Through Times of Stress

Supporting Your Partner Through Times of Stress

It’s moving week. I told you all about it a few weeks ago – how I was expecting to be tired, at my wit’s end and neck deep in boxes by now. Well, I’m all that. And to add to the fun, all the expected relationship stress has peaked this week as well. So now [...]

How to Impress the Parents

How to Impress the Parents

“How soon is too soon to meet the parents?” someone asked the other day. My friend E would probably argue that you should at least be dating the guy before you have to make that decision. She turned up at a – ahem – friend’s house late one night for what was, by all accounts, [...]

Why You Should Try a Wingwoman

Why You Should Try a Wingwoman

It’s happened more than once: Cocktails in hand, girly catch-up session in progress. Enter stage left? An attractive girl on her own. She breaks into the group with some sort of compliment – “Great shoes,” or “Love your hair.” – you welcome her into the fold and continue chatting. Of course, she’s only there for [...]

The Walk of Shame

I don’t need to list the benefits here of all the fun involved in a one-night stand. Anyone that’s had the pleasure, so to speak, will know the lure of a no-strings-attached, one-show-only romp. But, fun as the night can be, the problem comes with how to delicately extract yourself from the situation the next [...]

The Truth About Nice Guys

Baby fell for Johnny. Sandy pulled out all stops to get Danny. Lisa Simpson even had a thing for Nelson for awhile. And we all remember when Carrie left Aidan for Big. What is it about the casual air of the devil-may-care bad boy that sends women to jelly? They’re arrogant, obnoxious, single-minded, manipulative and [...]

Are You a Relationship Chameleon?

Are You a Relationship Chameleon?

Rewind my life seven years or so and you’d find an almost-unrecognisable girl. I didn’t drink, as a rule (though rules are, and were in this case, made to be broken), and I practiced Reiki while I wore Birkenstocks and read non-mainstream, naval-gazing spiritual books about the afterlife. I was probably a step or two [...]

Surviving Valentine’s Day for Singles

Surviving Valentine’s Day for Singles

Just three short sleeps to the biggest date on any singleton’s calendar. Yep, Monday is Singles Awareness Day.

As it looms closer, I hear noises of discomfort from friends.

Most will assure you they hate Valentine’s Day – who wants the overpriced flowers, the forced niceties, et cetera?

As a couple, it’s not all that much fun all the time either.

Where Did All the Men Go?

Where Did All the Men Go?

This is an open letter to the eligible bachelors of Australia: Where did you all go? There is a plethora of fantastic, smart, attractive single ladies here for you – some are great friends of mine – but you all seem to have collectively disappeared under a huge rock somewhere. At least, that’s the message [...]

What They Don’t Tell You About Summer Romances

What They Don’t Tell You About Summer Romances

Welcome back to reality, people. It’s been a sad, soggy summer for many, but even so, romance has been in the (rather humid) air for others. Summer romances are beautiful things. When you’re on holiday, you’re a million metaphoric miles from your desk, from hounding emails and buzzing BlackBerries. I’ve always dreamed of spending a [...]

Do You Scare Potential Relationships Off?

I’m all for forthright and honest communication. That said, I think there’s also something to be said for playing cards close to your chest sometimes. At least for a little while. Not so for a girl I know, L. L is a genius at scaring people off right off the bat, on account of her [...]

Is Your Partner Snooping On You?

Is Your Partner Snooping On You?

It’s a moment I’m not proud of: Rewind a few boyfriends back and I find myself standing in the lounge of our shared apartment as he’s taking a shower, frantically scrolling through text messages on his phone. I feel terrible guilt at doing this… until I find exactly what I’m looking for. Very incriminating text [...]

mX Column: Couples Who Argue in Public

mX Column: Couples Who Argue in Public

There are few things more uncomfortable than watching a couple air their domestic disputes in public. Whether it’s tears on a street corner or all-out yelling in front of friends, no one wants to be the bystander in what is undoubtedly the messiest of all fights. Years of history and complicated emotions go into a [...]

mX Column: Do You Play Together Anymore?

mX Column: Do You Play Together Anymore?

It was Her Holiness, Carrie Bradshaw that first introduced the world to the concept of Secret Single Behaviour. Those little rituals we all have in the privacy of our house – Charlotte would check her pores for an hour in a magnified mirror, while Carrie stacks grape jelly and crackers while reading Vogue and standing [...]

mX Column: Tips for Travelling as a Couple

mX Column: Tips for Travelling as a Couple

Travelling as a couple is one of those huge relationship challenges that can go either way. Being taken out of your comfort zone, thrown into busy sightseeing and touring schedules and coupled together for 24 hours a day can be a revealing experience to say the least. Obviously, we’re not talking about your standard “romantic-weekend-at-a-bed-and [...]

mX Column: Is Love Costing You Your Friends?

mX Column: Is Love Costing You Your Friends?

A study has found that love comes at a price. The going rate? Two close friends. On average, a person who finds themselves in a relationship will suddenly realise two of their nearest and dearest will suddenly become not so close and probably even disappear from their lives altogether. The researchers looking into the study [...]

mX Column: The Back-Up Guy

Over breakfast the other morning with a girlfriend, I was discussing The Back-Up Guy. You know, the guy or girl who is always there lingering in the background of your relationship, the one you sometimes think about, wondering what life would be like if you’d ended up with them? The one you could probably end [...]

mX Column: The First Date

The first date. The job interview of the dating world. You have but one chance at this. Don’t. Stuff. It. Up. The pressure is on to make a good first impression. You want the venue to speak volumes about your taste, it also needs to be classy without trying too hard. My dear friend E [...]

mX Column: Innocent Flirtations?

I was at a cocktail party with my man the other week when I turned to see a very attractive, very leggy brunette launching herself at him (she was more than a little tipsy) and planting kisses on his face. I don’t know what you would’ve done, but I laughed and turned back to my [...]

mX Column: I Can’t Believe I Went Out With You

Just the other day, I just had one of the greatest moments of clarity available to a person who has had their heart broken. Thank heavens for the internet. It allows us to virtually and remotely drop in on our exes and see what they’re up to. From the safety of your computer screen, they [...]