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Married Life

Co-dependent Couples

Codependent Couples

My parents are one of those couples who have to do EVERYTHING together! There are exceptions such as shopping or running errands, but on whole they won’t spend a night apart and heaven forbid if they’re going to travel without the other person.

Most times I find this cute; it makes me feel like they’ve got a strong bond and really enjoy each others company, but at times I find co-dependency very strange.

Over the New Year break, I called my father to discuss visiting family friends on a camping trip. Emma and I decided not to but I urged Dad to pop into the camp site and say hello. He responded with “I cannot, you’re Mother is working!” Surely Dad, you can drive there sit for a beer and lunch without her then? Dad response was “if your mother found out I went without her it would lead to divorce!”

I fell over in laughter! The thought of mother divorcing father over a trip to see friends is ridiculous. Dad obviously wasn’t serious about the divorce thing but clearly the argument would be one that you would want to avoid. A bit excessive? I think so…

How co-dependent is your relationship? Are you allowed out on your own, maybe a boys / girls night out? Do you do everything together as a couple, have the same friends and social circles or rather keep things a little separate?

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Discussion

4 comments for “Co-dependent Couples”

  1. Posted by Elaine Suverne | June 25, 2011, 12:01 am

    Here, Here. Good article about co-dependent couples,Denis. I’m one for a couple being agreed and staying together but part of the mystery of staying together is having some mystery! The best way to achieve that is to have things that you do apart as well as together.But I take my hat off to your folks!

  2. Posted by Ruby @ Summer Camp | October 31, 2011, 6:13 am

    That is so sweet! My grandparents were like that too. I haven’t seen them apart and they’ve been together for more than 50 years. I think couples who are almost inseparable are soul mates – made for each other.

  3. Posted by Paul Shall | December 14, 2011, 4:45 am

    Dad’s response to the invitation is hilarious! My wife’s parents (biological mom & stepdad) act in a similar way, and they MUST do everything together. Trip to the groceries? Not without the other! Dropping off a movie? Can’t leave my sweetheart behind.

    It’s both sweet and nauseating at the same time: sweet because they do practically everything (even the most mundane) together, but nauseating because of HOW they say it (“I need to bring my sweetheart!”).

    Regardless, they’re great people and they do seem happy.

  4. Posted by Jinnellys, A Life Photographer | December 16, 2011, 8:31 am

    Loved the article!

    I went to Africa to volunteer at an animal rehab facility for a month only to find my assigned roommate was married and was there for two months! My first question was “where is your husband!?” to which she responded “in Brazil, hiking”.

    Her name is Burget and she was about 55years old, and her husband was her high school sweetheart, they had been happily married since then. I knew right away that this was my ideal marriage and naturally began to interview her.

    She shares that to keep it interesting and fresh, they part ways once a year to venture into an individual adventure and reunite to a rekindled union. In addition this purpose, they also simply wanted to evolve as individuals for personal growth.

    I am not proposing everyone does this, however, the mindset that you always have to be together to be “together” is what leaves this option to go away or venture alone not an option.

    Our society has always taught me the opposite of this idea, and now I know I atleast want the option.

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