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Married Life

Denis, NAKED TWISTER is not a first date!

So I’m introduced to this sexy semi-blonde girl at a Hotel convention, “Denis, you must meet this person… she could possibly send some business your way…” I’m thinking ‘$$$’ brilliant!

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Like seriously, how f-u-c-k-i-n-g hard is it to run a start up and feed yourself at the same time!?!?!?! It’s mid 2004, I’m living in this dump of a place close to Melbourne’s CBD (St. Kilda Road) although the rent is dirt cheap! One thing going for me at the time was that my parents had shelled out money for me to buy a good suit, at least when people met me they thought “he must be doing well…” (little did they know).

I place out my hand and introduce myself, asking her what she does and for a business card… with my mind focused on making money to pay next month’s ridiculously cheap rent, I scoop up her business card and bolt to the next opportunity to set up another potential business lead.

A week later, and after a few friendly emails we catch up for a business meeting. I’m sitting at a cafe watching this sexy girl in a corporate outfit walking across the road… she couldn’t have been older than 21, maybe 23??? She walks straight up to me and says “Hi, I’m Emma… you must be Denis?” I’m like… OMG, she’s even HOTTER!

Over the next 2 months, our business relationship grew… she was such a flirt… she was cheeky, fun and independent, definitely qualities I like! Yet she was still delicate, your girlie-girl type… and she would definitely look good in my bed!

5am (one Saturday morning), I’ve been out with the boys all night and so not in a clear thinking mode, I crawl into bed thinking… hmm… I could do with a shag, now would be an appropriate time to text Emma and see where things can lead to. All the right signs were there, it was the perfect plan! Now all I need is a witty opening line to send in a text that would grab her attention. Maybe… “You up for a game of Naked Twister?”

I didn’t see anything wrong with the comment… Emma thought differently. War of the wits was waged via a series of text messages that spanned over 3 hours (some sexy, some serious and some read the wrong way). In the end Emma threw out a text message BOMB… shattering my ego and leaving me pissed off and shagless! She had gone too far…

That day our friendship ended… I guess that NAKED TWISTER is not recommended for a first date!

Tell me your first date/pick up line disasters???

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Discussion

10 comments for “Denis, NAKED TWISTER is not a first date!”

  1. Posted by Chloe | August 25, 2008, 2:09 am

    I had a guy pull out the Naked Twister line on me once! Its such a dumb pickup line, he was kinda cute… but the line was horrible. He didn’t get my attention.

    Denis, you should/could have used a more imaginative come on line!?

  2. Posted by Rob | August 25, 2008, 2:15 am

    Bombed out dude!!!

    Ha, could you imagine how good it would have been if she said “yeah, why not?” Like its a long shot, but fuck it, gotta try cause you never know.

  3. Posted by Emma | August 25, 2008, 3:07 am

    Yes, I’m a Rules Girl (or, That’s Right Denis, Naked Twister is NOT a Date)
    Any self-respecting Rules girl out there will know that accepting an invitation that comes VIA TEXT MESSAGE at 5AM from a wasted guy, asking you to come and play NAKED TWISTER is definitely not in the Rules.

    Controversial book, I know. My cousin (bless her, I’m so thankful) made me go and buy a copy after my big heartbreak. I practically inhaled the knowledge, cover to cover, in a single weekend. And then I met Denis, and he copped the brunt of my newfound confidence as I played by the RULES for Dating and Marrying Mr. Right… (more on that in a post to come soon)

  4. Posted by bobo | September 8, 2008, 12:50 pm

    Hey, credits to you for trying man. 9/10 girls will say no to that invitation…. but the one time they say yes, you’re headed to the Nirvana!

  5. Posted by Josh | September 18, 2008, 8:14 pm

    Sure it is!

  6. Posted by Jess | May 19, 2009, 11:03 pm

    Ha!

    If a guy had the balls to use a line like that on me, I’d stick around just to see what other “over confident” statements he could muster.

    If he could last the distance – it would impress me enough to give him more attention.

    and if he had nothing other than that one line, meh – good bye!

  7. Posted by Happy Birthday to US! The Best of $30 Date Night. | $30 date night | discussion | July 28, 2009, 9:35 pm

    [...] Denis, Naked Twister is NOT a First Date Denis’ pick-up line that didn’t work the first time [...]

  8. Posted by Jen | August 9, 2009, 11:43 am

    So, I take it the Naked Twister didn’t work for a first date, but you got the girl eventually anyway? How’d you manage that?? I’m extremely curious because the dates on your posts don’t fit…this post must have just been to go back in time a little ways eh?

  9. Posted by Denis | August 9, 2009, 6:53 pm

    Hi Jen, nope naked twister not so good for first date…

    Naked twister happened a looooong time ago – back in 2004! Well before the idea of $30DN.

    I’ve got a followup post to naked twister… I’ll polish it and post it up by tomorrow.

    Cheers,
    Den

  10. Posted by kaungmyat | September 29, 2011, 9:45 pm

    like that very sexy

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