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Married Life

Do Opposites Really Attract?

Den and I, we’re not much alike in many of our behaviors. That is to say, we definitely were not much alike when we first met, but over the years I think we have softened each other away from our extreme opposite behaviors… we’re becoming more and more similar all the time – to the point of mimicking each other’s phrases and saying the same thing at the same time (I used to laugh at those couples!)

Opposites Attract in Marriage?

We didn’t understand each other much at the start. It caused a lot of arguments. We would think entirely differently about the same situations – approach it from different angles altogether. What we learned in our marriage preparation course we took early this year was that all this behavior is learned from your family and your environment you are brought up in.

Den is stubborn, headstrong and not afraid of confrontation; I’m easygoing and will willingly fall to pieces if anyone raises their voice to me… Den is incredibly good with money and even in the dark days when his business wasn’t earning much, he managed to save responsibly; no matter how much I earn, I never seem to have any and I have no idea where it goes! Den likes practical things (like giving his sister a set of car tyres for her birthday) where I’m into romance, fluff and prettiness (and prefer gifts like jewelry or fancy dinners)…

And so it goes on. Neither is wrong, neither is right, both have their advantages… and their drawbacks.

And slowly, we are learning from each other and also how to deal with each other. I tend to think if we were too similar, we wouldn’t be able to grow the way we both have. Having two completely different points of view to almost everything in life makes for interesting conversations! Of course, it takes effort to strike the balance and keep it there… but when we manage it well, it’s a beautiful thing.

And then there’s the rest of it.

Superficial things aside, when it comes right down to values, we are almost identical. We both want the same things; we are both prepared to fight for the same things. Family, happiness, stability, friendship and most of all, our marriage, are the things we are committed to wholeheartedly.

Most relationship studies show that opposites don’t really attract as much as similarities in partners. We, as humans, are much more attracted to someone who reminds us of… us.

What about you and your sweetie? Are you similar to each other? Or did opposites attract? Do you share values and morals or have you had to negotiate a special ethics code that works for both of you?

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Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.


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