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Married Life

Do You Make These Relationship Mistakes?

By ⋅ August 12, 2010 ⋅ Post a comment

Relationships don’t come with instruction manuals. It’s a funny thing, because anytime you’re embarking on a new adventure be it a baby, a holiday, or buying a house, you tend to research everything you can on the subject.

But how many people arm themselves with instructions on how to be in a relationship?

Do You Make These Relationship Mistakes?

Not many. And certainly not many proactively. It seems to me that most people won’t seek help or guidance on how to be in a relationship until problems arise. By which time it’s usually too late.

Here are four common relationship mistakes that people make. Anything sound familiar here? I know I’m guilty of a few.

Arguing to Win, Not to Resolve

It’s far too easy to fall into the trap of keeping tally of argument wins, particularly if you’re both the stubborn type.

When arguing, try and keep on point, and try to remember that the best end goal for you both is a resolution of the problem, not another point on your imaginary scoreboard. This should help keep you both calm and civil towards each other.

Also? In light of this tip, let the little things slide. Who cares who forgot to change the toilet roll in the bathroom or who drank the last of the milk? Chillax, it’s not worth the pain.

Expecting Too Much

Oh boy, am I guilty of this one! Having major expectations of a situation or a person is always going to leave you disappointed. Bitterly, bitterly disappointed.

For example, I had this notion in my head that once we were married, we would have a wonderful honeymoon period of no arguing at all, gazing at each other lovingly for hours, wanting to spend time only together, passionate sex every day… and then Den got sick on our honeymoon and I was left to fend for myself while he played his PSP and watched DVDs in our hotel room. Not exactly the picture perfect life I had planned! I thought we’d be blissed out for months. In reality, it lasted all of three days.

Same goes when it comes to birthdays, engagements, proposals, wedding rings, gifts and more… if you have certain expectations of your partner, let them know. It’s only fair!

Letting Romance Slide

Sure, you’ve been together for years. You’ve seen each other at your worst, held each other’s hair back while throwing up into the toilet when you’re sick (or after a big night out), on the couch in trackies with unwashed hair, perhaps through childbirth. Perhaps you leave the bathroom door open.

All of which are no excuse to let the romance slide! Make an effort. Do it regularly. They don’t have to be grand gestures. Bring home a bunch of flowers. Switch off the TV and eat by candlelight at the dining table. Call from work and arrange to meet your partner at a restaurant, surprise them with tickets to a show, book a hotel room.

In short, stop every now and then and do something spontaneous for your sweetie that will blow them away and show them that you care. They deserve it! And so does your relationship.

Not Understanding the Needs of Different Personality Styles

We all need different things. Some people need lots of affection. Others need to spend quality time with their sweetie. Some need to feel looked after and some like small gifts and gestures to show that they’re loved.

Do you actually know what your partner’s Love Language is?

Find out, and use it to your advantage. It will make them happier and therefore you will be happier, and your relationship will feel more fulfilled.

These are only four common mistakes out of gosh-knows how many. Are you guilty of any of the above? Any I’ve left off that you’d like addressed?

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Author |

Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.

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