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Married Life

The 5 Top Reasons NOT to do Date Night

Den and I have been doing our weekly date nights for about a year now. It did take awhile to get into the swing of things, but once we hit our stride, we didn’t look back. A week without date night feels strange… we are disconnected, we get snippy at each other, we don’t get to have a proper conversation in between work and friends and family (and TV/Couch) commitments… and we both notice it.

The thing is, we love date night so much that we instantly thought others would too! But the truth is, our friends haven’t really jumped on the date night train… While they love the idea of OUR date nights, they never really start their own, and we hear a lot of excuses about why. So here are the top five reasons NOT to do date night. Sound familiar?

1. We have no time, we’re too tired, we’re too busy.
Whoa, what? You are too busy to dedicate a few measly hours a week to your relationship? Riiiiight. So, you’ll spend 50-odd hours (PLUS) at work, then get home and bring your freakin’ Blackberry, iPhone or laptop with you to cram in a few more hours of work and Facebooking between eating and sleeping… you’ll probably catch up with friends, together or separately, you’ll probably sit on your butt and watch television for hours on end together but you won’t take a night off once a week to spend with the one person you love most in the world? Priorities, people. You need to put SOME sort of effort in. Relationships are not all automatically Happily Ever After. They require work.

2. My relationship is fine. I don’t need your stupid date night strategy.
Why do we all think we should wait until our relationship has fallen to pieces before implementing something that will fix it? It shouldn’t have to get to that. This is your insurance policy, guys. This is a way to help from getting to rock-bottom at all… and why settle for “fine” when you can have AMAZING?

3. Dude, you keep using the words STRATEGY and IMPLEMENT. This isn’t a business plan.
Maybe it should be. Maybe setting goals in your relationship is not such a bad thing. A small, little weekly goal to spend some time together that you can achieve and feel like you did something worthwhile with each other! Maybe is we paid as much attention to our relationships as we do to our careers then the world would be a happier, more loved up place.

4. Right, this is all well and good for you young people, but we have children. You have no rebuttal for children. Date night is impossible when you have children.
Harder? Yes. Impossible? That’s a dirty word and you know it. First of all, if you must, then make date night a fortnightly thing. Secondly, there are PLENTY of good date ideas in our generator that can be done at home, once the kids are in bed. Yes, you might be exhausted by that time but I can’t stress enough how much the two of you still need to interact as a couple without the influence of the children. Make the effort, and you will feel more energetic and inspired for it. Get out of the house once a month on a date night together if you can manage it, and the rest of the time, do things together at home…. in fact, here’s a post I wrote just for you on 10 Great At Home Date Ideas for Parents


5. My husband would never do it. He doesn’t know how to be romantic.
(Sorry guys, I know this sounds sexist but I do hear this one a lot. Feel free to crack the stereotype for me.)
Admit it, you love being right about him being bad at the whole romance thing. First of all, give him a chance before you write it off altogether. Secondly, a retarded monkey could use the date generator, it’s really not that hard. Set out the parameters. Tell him that every week is date night. Tell him that every other week is HIS turn to organise it. Then give him the URL to www.thirtydollardatenight.com and tell him to get to it.

So, here’s what I propose. I’m sick of the excuses. I know you love date night. Everyone loves hearing about my date nights! Do it for one month. Just do it. Commit for FOUR WEEKS to do a weekly date night and take it in turns to use the bleeding generator to organise something. It is cheap (there are even FREE ideas in there for those that are in no position to spend $30) and it is easy and we know you’re going to love it.

FOUR WEEKS. That’s all I ask. Then come tell us about it. If you do love it, if you do notice a difference in your relationship, then pay it forward. Convince TWO other couples that they will love date night and send them on the same four week challenge. Just two.
There are so many services out there for single people, dating services, matchmaking… everyone is working to get people together. We’re working to KEEP people together. We need your help to do that.

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Author |

Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.


3 comments for “The 5 Top Reasons NOT to do Date Night”

  1. Posted by Meghan | November 24, 2008, 11:23 pm

    I am guilty of the “we have children” excuse…

  2. Posted by Veda | June 18, 2009, 5:34 pm

    Oooh – I have another one (excuse that is). I don’t have a date…

    How about a $30 mate night :)

  3. Posted by Experts Confirm: Couples Need Date Night | $30 date night | Date Ideas, Marriage & Romance Blog | July 4, 2010, 5:45 pm

    [...] If you can still think of great excuses why you can’t have a regular date night, maybe you should read this. [...]

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