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Married Life

Do You Need a Sex Date?

There’s no doubt that sex is a great cure for what ails you. Even the medical science boffins will attest to that.

Sex is reputed to fix everything from high stress levels to blood pressure, to boosting immunity, increasing self-confidence, helping lose weight and of course, giving you that hard-to-replicate glow we all covet.

Do you need a sex date?

But are you getting enough of the good stuff?

It may surprise you to learn that despite popular stereotypes, married people do get more sex than singles.

The problem comes when married couples compare their now-sex to their early-courtship sex. It is of course, completely normal for a drop off in productivity the longer you’re together.

While it’s all very easy and novel and exciting when you first meet and fall in love, you just can’t keep swinging from the chandeliers without putting in a little extra effort over the years.

In my internet travels the other day, I stumbled on an article that advocated setting a weekly date for sex. Not dinner, not the movies… Do those separately, the article proclaimed. Set a sex date, just for sex. And what’s more, you should be setting aside three hours at a time for it, too.

Do you really need to schedule sex to make sure it happens?

Well, it certainly can’t hurt.

What does your weekly calendar look like these days? On top of your 40 hours a week, I bet there’s something along the lines of Monday: Pilates, Tuesday: working late to meet a deadline, Wednesday: dinner with friends … and so on.

Overlay your own calendar onto your partner’s and there probably isn’t much mutual free time left.

When you do see each other, you’re more likely to get out of the house… or to be crashed on the couch, too tired to talk let alone get busy.

“One of the first things people ask me is “Doesn’t that take the spontaneity out of it?”… Does knowing you are going to a yoga class at 6pm tonight take the bliss out of it?” asks the article’s author, Kim Anami (NSFW).

“In our busy, modern lifestyles, we can’t leave important things to chance. Or they won’t happen. Sex is vitally important to your wellbeing and your relationship’s wellbeing,” Anami continues.

Sex Date: The End of Romance?

While some critics will think this spells the end of sexual bliss as you know it, but that’s the glass-half-empty version.

Think of it this way: it gives you something to look forward to at the end of a long week. The anticipation could build up over days.

With three hours set aside for a sex date, think and plan all the fun new things you could try together. This isn’t just snatching a quickie between social engagements; this is a weekly opportunity to delve headfirst into all sorts of kinkery, should you so desire.

I can hear some of you groaning already. Don’t be a killjoy and suggest this is the end of spontaneity in a relationship. Just because you’ve got time for sex set aside on the weekend, doesn’t preclude you from a midweek romp, should the mood take you!

And more sex only increases your appetite for it. If you can get in a regular, pre-scheduled session once a week then the rest of your sexual adventures should theoretically take care of itself.

Then sit back and grin smugly, and think of your next scheduled “date” as you listen to all the naysayers talk about how marriages spell the end of sex.

What do you think? Could a regular sex date work for you?

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Author |

Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.


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