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Married Life

Write Wedding Vows You Can Be Proud Of

There’s the boring. There’s the funny. There’s the soppy. And then there’s that special balance in between that is touching and sweet while also packing a little giggle.

I think your goal when writing your wedding vows should be to get your audience to shed a few sentimental tears. Everyone comes to a wedding ready to cry. Why disappoint them?

The stock-standard traditional vows are done to death, to be honest. I know a lot of people like to have them but what’s even nicer is to put your own twist on them. Personalise them for your own relationship. Make them memorable.

It’s funny, when I think of personalised wedding vows I always remember that scene from Wedding Crashers with the sailboat vows:

“I, Craig, take you, Christina, to be my wife, my best friend, and my first mate. Through sickness and health, clear skies and squalls.”
…“I, Christina, take you, Craig, to be my best friend and my captain, to be your anchor and your sail, your starboard and your port.”

That’s probably a little, ahem, overboard (ZING! Geddit?) for my tastes.

When I say to be funny, I mean less like this advice I found in my trawls of the internet:

(A la Doctor Seuss)Minister: Will you take her as your wife? Will you love her all your life?

Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife, Yes, I’ll love her all my life.

And more like Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston who swore to “Split the difference on the thermostat.”

Here are some easy steps to help get your creative juiced flowing:

1. Make sure you and your fiancee are on the same page about the vows. Particularly if you’re not going to reveal them to each other beforehand. Nothing worse than you going for laughs when your fiance is expecting touching and sentimental.

When in doubt, get them out in the open beforehand for quality control!

2. Start by thinking of all the things you love about your fiancee. What makes them special to you? What do you love most about your relationship? When did you know you wanted to marry them? What sort of marriage do you want to have? What sort of spouse do you want to be for them?

A marriage contract is a promise to be something for your mate. What will you strive to do and to become in your marriage?

3. Take inspiration from the poets and writers of great literature. When your words fail you, refer to theirs. You could start with “Emma, as the poet blah once said….” and take it from there.

4. Remember that while they sound a bit soppy reading them out of context, when you’re standing at the altar and the magnitude of the occasion is upon you, they will fit perfectly into the day.

Here are ours:

Emma and Denis Merkas Wedding

Denis/Emma, I love you. And when I tell you I love you, what I mean is this:
I promise to laugh with you and to laugh at myself.
I promise to take you seriously when seriousness is called for.
I promise to celebrate you when you are strong, and care for you when you are fragile.
I promise to let you be exactly who you are, and to encourage you always to grow within yourself.
I promise to listen to you, and to respect and consider your thoughts and beliefs.
I promise to always seek to be honest with you, even when it may frighten me to do so.
I promise to rest with you, and to seek balance between work and play.
I promise that you and I will get through anything and everything together, for as long as we both shall live.

Not a dry eye in the house at the end of that! Including the groom! We also had some lighter moments, as you can see from our picture here on the right.

What did you use as your wedding vows? Or what are you considering as your forthcoming wedding vows?

Thanks to Bish and Ginni at the Hump Day Crew on Joy 94.9 for inspiring this post, and for having us on air this morning!

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Author |

Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.


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