Married Life
For Men: How to Buy Lingerie for Your Sweetie
Today’s post is written by the saucy Bra Queen, who knows more about lingerie than anyone I know!
Valentine’s Day is coming and you’re probably thinking about what a con the whole shebang is. To be honest? You’re probably right. But any man worth his weight in gold would want to Va-va-VOOM his Valentine. Blow her out of the water by surprising her with a gorgeous lingerie set!
As a guy, the thought of buying lingerie probably gives you the trembles. But trust me, your sweetie will love it. Provided you do it right… Here’s how to put the Ooh in Ooh La La!
1. Don’t Give the Game Away!
Don’t tell her – this is where most men give it away! Say nothing, just do…
2. Picking the Right Lingerie Means Doing Some Legwork
Buy her a lingerie set that is both classy and sexy. Women love sexy, but hate cheap or trashy. If you’re not sure of your sweetie’s style, head to Bra Queen and do the Are You Naughty or Nice? quiz to give you an idea of what she will like. (Remember to answer the questions from your partner’s point of view, not yours!).
If you don’t know her size, sneak a peek in her drawers to find out. Alternatively, you can very casually say “Hey, I was reading an article in the paper today and it said that 40% of women are a DD Cup… what are you again?”
3. Make a Day of It!
When you kiss her goodbye in the morning to go on your little adventure, just give her a big kiss – no groping, no fondling, just kiss, enjoy and walk out the door.
Once you’re back with your stash, hide it and then cook her favourite meal and do the dishes (remember: this is practically foreplay for women!). Enjoy some wine together, make her laugh and put a sparkle in her eye.
Let her unwrap her present and offer to put the kids to bed (if applicable!) or clean up while she takes some time to herself – this gives her a chance to try the lingerie on and freshen up in private.
Once she’s ready, meet her in the bedroom, tell her how great she looks in the new lingerie you bought her and take it from there! Make it all about her – whatever she wants tonight, goes.
I promise it will spice up your love life and I’m sure she’ll return the favour!
Good Luck and Happy Valentine’s Day!
The Bra Queen x
P.S. Faire Frou Frou have up to 75% off their entire collection for Valentine’s Day.
P.P.S. For Bra Reviews on particular brands, check out Bra Queen’s Blog.
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Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.
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5 comments for “For Men: How to Buy Lingerie for Your Sweetie”
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My wife of 15 years is a larger lass and my 1 & only attempt in our younger years of courtship to buy a very nice outfit (her GF’s at the time said it was nice – I had 2 of them help me) turned into a disaster – she never wore it. I have been trying to encourage her to wear nice everyday lingerie (bras etc) & I want to get her something nice so she can forget about her size & being a mum & feel terrific. Any pointers for the (very) nervous school boy that has resurfaced?
As a former “larger lass” myself, I can tell you that it totally depends on the exactly how much larger she is. I had a thyroid issue and climbed from a US size 8 all the way up to a 32 before I got regulated, so I’ve been through pretty much every size range you can imagine and can give pointers on just about all of them.
I’ll tell you this… how one feels about lingerie totally depends on exactly how large one actually is, how one carries the extra weight, and how one FEELS about how large one is.
My experience (and keep in mind that I’m 5’11″, so don’t take the sizes completely to heart–a US size 16 on a tall person looks different than a US size 16 on a shorter person):
I would have been fine with any lingerie up to about size 16-18 (because I was tall, so I carried it decently, and tended to put it on evenly). Then I would have been pickier about it (i.e., REALLY trying to find something that sort of camouflaged what I thought my problem areas were), but still okay until I hit the size 22-24 range.
After that, I would have been mortified if my husband had tried to buy me lingerie. Heck, my husband tried to buy me a HOODIE when I was a size 26 (a thoughtful gift–I was cold a lot), and I nearly hyperventilated during the shopping trip. Lingerie? I think not.
The deal with me was that after about a size 22, I would know that my husband was trying to be sweet, but there’s just no way I would have felt confident in it. And that’s not sexy.
Also, once you hit that size range, things just don’t seem to fit quite right depending on where the weight actually goes on your body. Some things that are technically in your size simply don’t fit as intended. As a quite tall woman, I learnt possibly even more painfully the lesson that many larger girls are learning–manufacturers just don’t seem to know how to deal with how bodies put on weight. They try to make everything proportionally wider without paying attention to length or changing proportions based on how the human frame actually carries extra weight. And maybe it’s for good reason–we do tend to put on weight differently.
So, if your husband was sweet enough to go to all the trouble of finding you something nice in your size, and it just doesn’t fit right, you REALLY don’t want your husband to see you in it. You’ll feel bad that it didn’t work out, and then there’s a little bit of an “Oh, crap, he’ll be expecting me to look much better in this than I do” moment.
Then, if you have hang-ups about your weight, it’s hard (and mortifying) to explain to your guy that not all size 22s are created equal, and the lovely outfit he chose didn’t fit because you happen to have insanely large thighs or a slightly bigger/smaller tummy or larger arms than most 22s. It’s about as much fun as shoving red hot pokers up your bum.
And, then, even worse–you feel totally guilty for not wearing it when he went to all that trouble and was being so sweet. And you WISH you could explain, but you are too embarrassed and decide he probably wouldn’t want to hear it. So you try to ignore it and end up terribly confusing your husband instead.
But you honestly don’t mean to.
It makes me so sad to read this. I wish that one day I could find someone to share in love with. It seems like everyone finds someone except for me. The only spice in my relationship is salt. Symbolic of all the tears I have cried.
What a joy to find such clear thinking. Thanks for ptiosng!
Good tips for all men, and thanks for sharing.