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Men vs. Women on Love, Sex and Romance
I recently stumbled across The Great Male Survey on blokey advice site AskMen.com and was fascinated by the answers from all over the globe to the Dating and Sex questions. In a fantastic move, the same questions were also answered by a bunch of females for Shine on Yahoo and here, I correlate for you some of the more interesting answers comparatively…
(I wish I could pie-chart… sadly, that particular gene seems to be missing from my DNA…)
If you could change one thing about your partner, what would it be?
Around 20-25% of all men and all women would very loyally change ‘nothing’ about their partner. (Awww…) For the rest of the pack that would happily change something, the top concerns for men wanting to alter their women were sexual appetite and moodiness. Meanwhile a third of women wish their partner was more sensitive and considerate…
I may be drawing a long bow here (!) but perhaps the women wouldn’t be so moody if the men were more sensitive in the first place?! (Conversationally, perhaps the men would be more sensitive toward their sweethearts if the women weren’t so damn moody all the time!). I can definitely see where both parties are coming from… I’m sure if Den could wave a magic wand and dissolve my erratic moods, he’d do it in a heartbeat! In fact, he’d probably pay good money for the privilege!
Would you dump a boyfriend/girlfriend if they became fat?
The men were divided almost equally in whether they would dump a girlfriend if she got too fat (leaning towards the no by a few percent)… Meanwhile, 82% of women maintained that they would not dump a boyfriend for putting on weight. How is that fair? And does pregnancy weight count?
Faking it…
While 50% of women admit to faking an orgasm more than once in their lifetimes, 86% of poor men say they would be highly offended to find out that a woman had faked one in the sack with him!
The moral of the story? If you are going to fake it, ladies, just don’t let the men find out!
Should a couple live together before marriage?
A whopping 90% of men believe it’s a good idea to live together before marriage. A more cautious 75% of females also agree… reasons for not living together include it not being ‘morally appropriate’ and the old ‘enjoy your freedom while you can!’
After having been through the living-with-a-boyfriend-and-it-didn’t-work-out trauma, I refused to move in with Denis until after we were engaged. Personally, I think living together takes real adjustment and commitment in most cases, and would rather have more at stake in a break-up than just a shared CD collection. In my mind, being engaged meant that we would work through any hiccups with more dedication… plus there’s ye olde ‘If you can get the milk for free…’
Romance…
Ladies and Gents, it seems we think we are a romantic bunch… 91% of women say they make an effort to be romantic/sexy either on a regular basis or on special occasions. Meanwhile, 78% of men say they make an effort to be romantic somewhat or very often. A further 19% say they do make an effort, but not very often…
Meanwhile, in my daily couples research and anecdotally from people, it seems I hear a lot of lamenting that partners are not romantic enough… so we all think we’re being romantic, but our sweethearts don’t agree…?
Makes you wonder what the definition of romance is for each sex? Are we talking flowers and chocolates? Sexy lingerie? Candlelit dinners? Romance isn’t just limited to these things… In fact, I maintain that we probably need a new definition for romance.
For a full list of answers on everything marriage and sex, check out the raw results for the men and the ladies… and let us know what you think of these answers!
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Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.
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this was weird
We are in our late 50 s, together for 14 years (married 10) dlepey in love. All is not perfect though, and I’m wondering if it’s my fault. Am I being too demanding? Selfish? Unreasonable? If you’ve been in a loving relationship for at least 10-15 years, I’d like your opinion.My wife loves me dearly and I don’t doubt that. Her libido has become almost zero while mine has stayed the same (a common complaint, I guess). Still, she gives me a climax several times a week. And yet I don’t feel fulfilled, and don’t know why. More importantly, neither does she.I thought it was women who come to miss the passion and romance in their relationships, who want more touching, kissing, playfulness and caressing in their realtionships. But in our relationship, it is me. We have very little of those things despite our deep love for each other. Am I weird to want those things more than my wife? To feel bad when my advances are rebuffed? Please share your thoughts, experiences, and advice.She seems to think men just need a climax, however often, to satisfy thier needs. I have tried to tell her that to me, sex is more than just having a climax. Sure, sometimes sex IS just about having a climax, for both genders, but I guess what bothers me is that nowadays with us, that’s all it is most of the time. When we do make love, kissing and cuddling, it couldn’t be better and I feel it for days. But for her, the next day it seems to be more like okay, we did that, now we’re done. Recently I tried to get romantic, or frisky the day after we’d had such a session, and she said, See, that’s the problem meaning I should be satisfied and shouldn’t be bothering her again.The only reason I’m asking this question here is because I love her dearly, but miss our intimacy, so often feeling rejected and so rarely feeling physically desirable to her.Lorann Roleplaying or that type of thing might help, but she doesn’t want to try anything like that. If I suggest it, she sees it as just another expression of my excessive sexuality. Besides, she’s very traditional, and though she used to love to play and experiment, she wouldn’t be open to such a thing.Another problem with that suggestion is that it implies that the she is the one with the problem, that she needs to change. The way she sees it, I am the one with the problem and I am the one who needs to change my behavior and/or temper my desires.