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Married Life

Mistresses vs. Wives – The Showdown

A survey conducted by the Women’s Weekly shows that nearly half the 1115 respondents that answered the survey report that when they were single they had had an affair with a married or otherwise-committed man.

While these affairs rarely led to the break up of the man’s marriage/relationship, over a third of them lasted for months or even years… meanwhile around a quarter of the wives were generally clueless to the goings-on behind their back.

Mistresses vs Wives Showdown

It is suspected that these affairs usually start in the workplace. (Thank God I work right next to my husband on a daily basis from home, or this news might have me a basket case already!)

So who does the responsibility lie with? With over 25% of the mistresses saying that they would have an another affair with a married man if the opportunity arose, I kind of want to instantly blame the women. Whatever happened to the sisterhood, anyways?

Why is it that we always jump to branding the other woman for her skills of seduction, like she’s some red-letter harlot that set her sights on our men?

Perhaps it’s the fact that 21% of these women think it’s “sometimes okay” to poach another woman’s man, and only 13% of them believe that it’s morally his problem, not the mistresses’. How is it NOT his problem? Do people really think men are so thick-witted that they don’t even realize when they’re being unfaithful?

If so, I think the men have done a brilliant job of playing dumb this entire time.

Bettina Arndt appeared on the Today show this morning, citing the new trend that men such as Tiger Woods are “accepting responsibility” for their philandering actions. I’m sorry, but blaming a “sex addiction” for your actions is the furthest thing possible from taking responsibility.

And with outcomes like yesterday’s successful suing of a mistress to the amount of $10 million for “stealing” a woman’s husband, it would seem that even the law doesn’t think the men are to blame.

Says Australia’s Nine News: “Cynthia Shackelford, 60, told the North Carolina court that she gave up her teacher career to raise their children and support her husband Allan’s legal career, the Daily Telegraph reported.

Using a rarely used law, Mrs Shackelford claimed her husband had been happy and in love with her before his mistress, Anne Lundquist, 49, pursued a relationship with him.

After a two day trial the jury awarded Mrs Shackelford $10 million after she proved alienation of affection, a legal term for adultery, as well as causing severe emotional distress.”

So. What is the appeal of an affair? I know they must go on everywhere, all the time, without most of us even knowing. But what is in it for the mistresses, who are apparently orchestrating the entire thing singlehandedly?

Is it really wives vs. mistresses from now on? And why aren’t we blaming the men?

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Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.

Discussion

One comment for “Mistresses vs. Wives – The Showdown”

  1. Posted by Mandy | March 25, 2010, 1:03 am

    this makes me so mad. (you worded it perfectly, btw!)

    i actually have friends (well, acquaintances) who willingly enter relationships with married/taken men. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. It’s not only extremely disrespectful to the wife, it’s disrespectful to yourself to enter a relationship like that. Sadly, some women love the thrill of going after something ‘un-gettable’ like a ‘taken’ man… and they do it simply to see if they can or not. makes them feel like they are better than the wife…

    it’s disgusting, really. And yes, men are JUST as much to blame for willingly entering these relationships. even if they aren’t the ones initially seducing.

    It’s SO sad. :(

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