I wrote just recently about how people lose, on average, two good friends once they fall in love.
One of the theories about ditching those friends goes that once you’re in a relationship, you probably don’t have enough time to spend with your friends to maintain close bonds.
You know what really gets my proverbial goat?
Those people who get into a relationship and suddenly become a ‘we’ instead of a ‘me’.
Dialogues between friends begin to go something like this:
“Hi babe, can we do brunch this Sunday? Haven’t seen you in ages! Love to catch up.”
“Sure, we’ll be there at 10”
We? We’ll be there.
Suddenly, your bestie’s new squeeze is turning up all over the place. And no one seems to realise they’re about as unwelcome as a rash.
Your conversations are hijacked, you have to stop and explain back-stories to your new audience member… they look at you like you’re Kim Jong-il when you crack black-humour jokes.
It’s not that you never want to hang out with your friends’ partners.
But when they drag them along every single time you catch up, when do you leave time for your original relationship to flourish?
It’s no wonder their friends back away slowly from the new two-headed, eight-limbed monster that is forming before their eyes.
Are you guilty of being a ‘we’? I hope not, because quite frankly – they creep me out a little.
The ‘we’s are the ones that ask you with concern if “everything’s okay” with you and your partner when you turn up solo to happy hour.
The “we”s are the ones that say things like “I can’t possibly bear to be away from my snookums overnight! I would just shrivel up with sadness.’
They wear co-ordinated outfits, finish each other’s sentences and have joint Facebook accounts.
A little healthy distance, people, never hurt anyone. Give yourselves time to miss each other.
The “we”s are also the ones who, at the end of their relationship, find themselves with no friends left to lean on, because they’ve scared them all off.
Time apart gives you time to pursue your own interests, makes for great conversation pieces between you and your sweetie when you do regroup and best of all, it will help refresh your feelings towards your partner.
If you have a friend that just can’t seem to tear themselves away from their partner, try instituting “boy’s nights” or “girlie weekends” to draw them out of their cocoon built for two.
Let them know how much you enjoy spending time just with them and hope like hell they take the hint!