define('DISALLOW_FILE_EDIT', true); define('DISALLOW_FILE_MODS', true); mX Column: Virtually Together | $30 Date Night
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mX Column: Virtually Together

I’m sitting on a plane to Sydney as I write, on my way to visit my bestie, V.

I don’t spend much time on planes these days, though V does.

He moved to Sydney for work a year ago, while his partner still lives and works in Melbourne.

Virtually Together, Long-Distance Relationships

They fly back and forth as often as they can, running their relationship across the east coast, but mainly living independently.

The funny thing is, V and R aren’t the only couple I know doing this. Two more couples that I am very close to and are married also live in separate cities.

The common denominator in all these situations is work. They go where their jobs take them.

In a career-driven world, in the era of technological communication, where you can nab a flight interstate for $28 and where we can do business globally at the click of a mouse button, it is possible to run virtual relationships without ever living in the same city.

I guess it was always going to be the last frontier for the internet.

Businesses started outsourcing, then our friendships went online with the arrival of Facebook. Online dating is de rigeur.

So it’s only natural that with a little help from Skype and smartphones, there is a virtually ever after.

The long-term, long-distance relationship has come of age and gone online.

But what does this mean for couples?

It’s true that it’s easier than ever for long-distance to work, but there are still setbacks. No amount of fibre-optic cable can change the fact that you are apart.

“It’s not easy,” V admits.

“The constant travelling is exhausting. Not to mention, you’re always trying to fly out on a Friday night when everyone else is, and back on Sunday night when you really want to be relaxing and getting ready for work the next day.”

Footing the tickets for all that air travel can be expensive.

Then there’s covering two sets of rent (or mortgages) and buying new furniture for the second house.

If you are doing the long-distance thing (or thinking about it), experts recommend communicating as often as possible.

Keep it fresh by mixing the mediums – video chat, instant messenger, email, carrier pigeon…

Sending your partner gifts or handwritten letters is a way of being romantic when you can’t be there.

And beware expectations.

You may spend so much time missing your partner and building up the next time you see them that the reunions could be anticlimactic. And that can spell a-r-g-u-m-e-n-t.

Changing gear from virtual to physical contact might take some time to get used to.

But persevere – after all, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

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Author |

Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.


4 comments for “mX Column: Virtually Together”

  1. Posted by Karen Cayamanda | September 8, 2010, 1:03 am

    This reminds me of Drew Barrymore’s Going the Distance. Nice post!

  2. Posted by Amy Rib | May 25, 2011, 2:22 pm

    Hey, Excellent article! Very well worded and right to the point. I am using some of this blog in my own blog as a guide, I hope you don’t mind.

  3. Posted by Cataweb | May 25, 2011, 3:08 pm

    The Internet is strengthening all types of relationship, be it romantic, professional or business relationship. Just as vendors get closer to each via Internet, couples get manage to live sea apart without losing interest on each other.

  4. Posted by Cataweb Online | May 25, 2011, 3:15 pm

    Just like other great online tools like facebook and tweets, virtual dating sites can be subject to abuse by sex predators. Beware that the Internet is full of lies, cyberimpersonators and sex tourists!!!

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