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mX Column: What Mothers Teach Us About Love

Thank goodness for mothers and their unconditional, all-enveloping love.

I know my mum is the one person in this world who will pick up the phone every time I call, and she’ll be glad to hear from me to boot. I can also depend on her to be the first by my side if I’m unwell or if I need her, bestowing homemade cooking and healthy doses of motherly love.

And no matter how old I am, I’ll never outgrow my need for her advice.

(Yes, it’s going to be a warm and fuzzy column this week. You’ve been warned.)

In the lead up to Mother’s Day, I’ve been thinking about the many things we learn from our mothers.

It is motherly love that first teaches us what we are to expect from our future relationships.

If you think about it, our mothers are the first real loves of our lives. When we’re children, she is the centre of our universe and we are the centre of hers.

She is our protector, our carer and our biggest fan.

It is inevitable then, that her looks, her nature, her personality and her sense of humour are what we go on to seek from our romantic affairs as adults.

Celebrity psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers says: “If your mother was warm and giving, you will be attracted to partners who are warm and giving. If our mother was strong and even-tempered, we are going to be attracted to a fair-minded strength in our mates.”

We also learn a lot about how to act in a relationship from watching our parents interact with each other.

My own parents have the kind of love story that you see in movies. It is their story that convinces me true love exists. From my parents, I learnt that true love is a partnership. From them I learned that love takes generosity of spirit, acceptance and sometimes work.

And although their story was sadly cut short when my father died of cancer, years later my mother still talks about how in love they were. Having listened my whole life to the stories and – I like to think- gleaning early subconscious cues from watching them together, I found myself becoming a believer in true love.

I know I’m lucky to have my mum in my world, still teaching me about life. But sometimes mothers aren’t so appreciated.

A friend once fell in love with a man whose mother loved him so much that she did everything for him. As an adult, he expected domestic servitude, not loving companionship from a partner. Of course, they’re not together any longer.

Our mothers are worthy of much appreciation and adoration for all they do for us and give to us. Thank her this Sunday for everything she has taught you and everything she has been for you… she’s taught you more than you’d even imagine.

This column was originally published in mX Newspaper on Friday 7 May 2010

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Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.


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