Welcome to one of our new segments for 2010 – Real Life Couples. A tiny insight into the lives of real, actual couples from all over the globe, all going through their own journeys… a very real way to see that each relationship can have it’s ups and downs and that you really do need to work to make your own Happily Ever After, rather than just waiting for it to come to you.
Rebecca and Murray have been trying to have a baby for close to four years now with the help of IVF. Bravely, Rebecca has documented every step of the way on her blog, Crazy Lady Ramblings. Their IVF journey can be tracked on the left hand side, through painful procedures, heartbreaking miscarriage and inevitable depression… it is such a sad story, yet also so inspirational. Again and again, Rebecca and Murray keep finding ways to get through it together. We wish them all the best with their future… and thank you for sharing your story with us.
Here’s what they had to say to us about their relationship:
Rebecca, 23, Systems Coordinator – Murray, 30, Secondary Teacher – married 12 November 2005
How long have the two of you been together?
6 years, since November 2003
Where/how did you meet?
At a Desperate & Dateless ball – I was doing work experience for uni, and Murray was a VIP guest as he had just signed a songwriting publishing contract. Even with all the gorgeous women around dressed to the max, he spent the whole night talking to me!
Was it love at first sight?
Not love but definitely attraction!
How would you describe your relationship now?
Happy, strong, comfortable, best friends with each other.
What is your personality match like?
We are both very emotional people and love to talk and spend time together. We have no problem telling each other how we are feeling so no dwelling on issues. Bec is more high energy whereas Murray is more chilled out.
How do you manage your time together? (Does work, socialising, etc, get in the way of you spending time together?)
As a teacher, Murray has periods of time where he has to focus on work – exams, marking, school functions – and he has to get these done, so we tend to spend some time apart at these times. We like to cook dinner together to unwind and talk about each others day.
What kinds of things do you like doing together?
We have a Perth Wildcats basketball membership which gives us the opportunity to go out and do something fun together. We love good food and enjoy trying new restaurants out.
What annoys you most about each other?
How much sport Murray watches! He would watch around 20 hours of sport each week! And Bec’s mood swings can be dangerous!
What makes your relationship tough sometimes?
We have been through a lot of stuff together, in particular trying to have a baby, which has added a lot of emotional, physical and financial pressures in our relationship. Going through 10 rounds of IVF together was incredibly hard, but we have been very lucky in that it has only made our relationship stronger.
Do you argue? What about?
Money is the big one. Where our money is going, coping with paying off a mortgage while still trying to have something resembling a social life can be hard and we have had a few disagreements about it over the years.
The other big point of disagreement is our families. We are at the point now where we accept that our families are different and we don’t have to agree with everything that they do or say. In the past their involvement caused a lot of issues for us as we felt we had to defend our families actions to each other.
What’s been the biggest challenge of your relationship?
Learning to deal with each other. We got married when Bec was 19 so we have been through a lot of general life experiences with each other. Learning to respect each other as adults and partners took some time to get used to.
What’s been the biggest reward of your relationship?
That warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach when you aren’t doing anything special – just sitting on the couch enjoying each others company and being happy.
What do you think is the secret for a happy marriage?
Communication. Being able to speak to each other openly and honestly about how you are feeling is the only way for a relationship to work.