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Married Life

Things I Wish My Husband Would Let Me Throw Out

Bringing two people’s belongings together into one house was never going to work. Lifetimes of memories, sentimentality and just plain bad taste will always haunt us… here is a comprehensive list of things I wish Denis would let me throw out… or at least move to some ‘man room’ – which we don’t have in our cosy 1.5 bedroom apartment right now, but is where these items are destined to end up one day when we have our 25-room dream house with a wing for each of us (really, we’d ideally have two houses next to each other, but we’ll settle for a dividing door in the middle of a really big-ass mansion)…

Drum Kit

1. The Drum Kit
I hear ancient stories of the glory days of Den’s drumming career. I’ve seen photographic evidence of long, bleached rocker hair and I even have the privilege of seeing his beloved drum kit in the corner of the lounge in our apartment (which… did I mention it’s a small apartment? An apartment that doesn’t have the luxury of HAVING A MASSIVE DRUM KIT SITTING IN THE CORNER OF IT?) but never, never, never, ever have I seen him play it. If it wasn’t for Peter at I Heart Guitar, I’d even think that the whole “I’m a Drummer” thing was set up just to impress chicks… but actually, I hear my husband is really talented… I’d love to hear him play! (What gal doesn’t love a rockstar?) and hell, if he DID play it, I’d happily keep it around. Right now, though? It’s just a pain in the ass to dust around… and really, I don’t wish it to the dump, just into storage…

I’m going to get crucified for suggesting this to you, Internet… he’s verrry touchy about the drum kit. I even moved the tom tom (? I think it was the tom tom) from the right side of the kit to the left side, so it would stop BLOCKING THE WALKWAY TO THE KITCHEN and we had to have a summit about that! because “That’s not where it goes!”…

2. The Hideous Painting
We have this painting hanging on our wall that was bought B.E. (Before Emma) and it scares every single child that sets foot in our apartment. Our neighbours’ adorable 1-year-old turns to look at it every 5 seconds when he’s here to make sure it isn’t sneaking up to murder him! (Den maintains that he’s just admiring it, but I see fear in his eyes…).

That’s all. Just two things. I am more than happy for everything else to stay… and I already know that Den would dearly love to throw out a) About half to two-thirds of the cosmetics in our bathroom and b) Our bed.

Now, I can assure you this post is going to cause my husband conniptions (in fact, he’s probably already fitting on the floor or yelling at me as you read this), but it’s all in good spirit. And I just know that you, dear readers, have things of your partner’s that you would love to see banished! But, because you love them (BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, DENIS) you let them stay…

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Author |

Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.

Discussion

7 comments for “Things I Wish My Husband Would Let Me Throw Out”

  1. Posted by Denis | August 16, 2009, 8:14 pm

    OH…….. COME ON!!!!!!!!

    The drums are fine exactly where they are… and hardly massive. It’s a tiny 5 piece Tama kit… with an array of sexy Paiste, Zildjian and Sabian symbals, including the sweetest sounding 13″ zildjian K series hi-hats. THE DRUMS really spice up what would become a sterile Ikea inspired apartment… is that what you want Emma? Sterile? Ikea?

    As for the painting – it’s a Picasso (rip off of course, but still) it’s PIC-A-SSOOOOOO! Whats wrong with Picasso?

  2. Posted by Emma | August 16, 2009, 8:15 pm

    I told you he’d yell.

  3. Posted by Peter | August 16, 2009, 8:55 pm

    Denis is indeed an extraordinarily awesome drummer when he has time to practice. Life can be pretty hectic and I’m sure that seeing that drum kit in the corner of the room has a bit of a grounding effect that reminds him of our good old days jamming in his garage – just Den and Pete exploring the outermost reaches of progressive metal on a Sunday afternoon.

    My partner has her own decorating style so most of my pre-couple stuff has long since gone, but I still have the music room to remind me of my own identity and individuality within the relationship.

    As a little treat perhaps you could surprise him with rental of a drum rehearsal room every now and then. My partner’s ultra-supportive of my musical endeavours (even when it comes to buying finicky little gadgets that only I can hear the effect of), and look at what I’ve achieved since her and I got together!

  4. Posted by Emma | August 16, 2009, 9:08 pm

    LOL – I AM a supportive wife! I’m all for him playing it, I’ve been telling him to go get an electric one so he can practice in the apartment without disturbing the neighbours!

    Plus, it would take up less space! ;)

  5. Posted by Denis | August 17, 2009, 6:20 am

    Babe – christmas is not too far away… maybe start saving some $$$. Roland produce the best electric drums – go for the V-series please they provide the most natural feel.

  6. Posted by That Guy from across the hall | August 17, 2009, 5:38 pm

    That picture *is* freaky. Emma, you distract Denis while I pitch it off the balcony!

  7. Posted by Denis | August 19, 2009, 9:37 pm

    Listen “That Guy From Across The Hall”!!!

    Anything goes off the balcony – you’re following it down the 19 stories… and better catch it before it hits the street.

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