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Married Life

What About a Little Mystery?

I’m an old-fashioned kind of gal… one who still believes in ladylike manners, in never belching at the dinner table and certainly never farting in the company of others. Others, including my own husband.

I also under no circumstances leave the bathroom door open and I flat-out refuse to undertake any kind of hair removal in his company either.

My theory is kind of like the good old “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Does said tree even exist at all? You see where I’m going with this, yes?

Is Farting Acceptable in a Relationship?

Den is a little less shy about such things. He’ll happily burp, fart and scratch in front of me, our friends and family and probably anyone else that will take it.

I hate it! If find it gross and unnecessary and I think it completely and totally wipes out any mystery or romance between two people… am I just being uptight? Den thinks so… I’d be very interested to hear from others – from girls who aren’t bothered by their windy partners, boys that refuse to let ‘er rip in front of their sweethearts and girls that happily burp their way through dinner without a second thought… Let’s settle this once and for all!

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Author |

Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.

Discussion

11 comments for “What About a Little Mystery?”

  1. Posted by Denis | August 11, 2009, 7:20 pm

    I walked past Em’s computer just then to see a pic of Barney belching and had a feeling Em’s was writing a post about me! Surprise, surprise…. looky what I findy…

    Emma… we live in an apartment, its not very large – I can hear you even when you think you’re discreet. If a tree falls in our apartment, the people across the hall can hear it.

    My theory is – better out than in… and research as well as my professional opinion states that its better to release than to keep within.

  2. Posted by Suziwong66 | August 12, 2009, 1:03 am

    OMFG being caught writing about ur partner’s ‘habits’ by ur partner; Too funny LMAO!!!

    We’re an all-out family and always have been…our girls in their latter teens still walk around the house naked; fart at will etc!

    I figure that there’s going to come a day when we’re old and infirm and he(my life partner) may need to care for me in more physical ways and visa versa; so he’d better be familiar with me and I’d better be comfortable with him being so familiar with me LOL

    I do drawn the line at him farting on my leg when i’m doing the ‘outside’ spoon cuddling/snuggling position! haha

    Sorry, I’m with Denis on this issue!

  3. Posted by Denis | August 12, 2009, 3:08 am

    Rock on Suzi!

  4. Posted by Spiky Sandy | August 12, 2009, 6:00 am

    I’ve been married 20 years and there are times I’m most discreet about my farts & burps. But, there are times that the burps are just too funny to my 15-year old son. We have burping contests. I win! Farting…I’m not an outright farter mostly. I might for my son’s amusement, but probably not my husband’s. I don’t hold them in, though. Denis is right, better out than in.

  5. Posted by Jason | August 12, 2009, 4:21 pm

    Sorry, Emma, I have to side with Denis on this one. Farting, burping, peeing with the door open…these are just a few of the “mysteries” that become less mysterious over the years…BUT, perhaps you will just agree to disagree about it. Just like you may have to learn to live with the mannerisms, he may have to learn to live with the objections to them.

  6. Posted by Emma | August 12, 2009, 11:10 pm

    Well, while you’re all siding with Den over here on the blog (pfft), I just wanted to let y’all know that over on our Facebook fan page we have a few ladies who are also big on ‘manners’ and ‘discretion’ when it comes to bodily functions!

    I’m not purporting that people ‘hold it in’! I’m just saying… maybe leave the room?

    Lol… very much enjoying all this discussion! Keep it coming!

  7. Posted by Spiky Sandy | August 13, 2009, 6:34 am

    What’s the Facebook fan page website?

  8. Posted by Spiky Sandy | August 13, 2009, 6:36 am

    Never mind. Just did some searching and found it. :D

  9. Posted by The Proposal: Part 1 | $30 date night | Date Ideas, Marriage & Romance Blog | August 20, 2009, 11:15 pm

    [...] me that Den and I have been doing some spouse-bashing on this blog lately, what with our airing of bad habits and petty annoyances! It’s all in good humor of course… that’s just the way we are with each [...]

  10. Posted by Dari | October 7, 2009, 11:26 pm

    Okay.. first the un-funny backstory: My mom had ovarian cancer which had as one of it’s really awful (humiliating for her) side effects… really bad, loud and smelly gas.

    My mom was a very dignified person who never farted in front of a man (but oddly, had no problem letting it rip in front of my sister or me). When she was really sick, she would only let my brother come by for a short visits – NEVER more than 1/2 hour (because she held it in, and that was the maximum amount of time she could stand).

    So, finally my brother told me how hurt and upset he was… and i broke her confidence and told him why.

    He laughed and laughed and laughed… and bought her the book “Walter the Farting Dog” …

    When she finally stopped laughing (partially in mortification), she finally let him stay and spend time with her.

  11. Posted by james | October 10, 2009, 3:58 pm

    This is very amusing!I agree with Denis! Where is the Facebook page?

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