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When the Eiffel Tower is Just Too Small

My friend M was dating a perplexing girl for awhile.

They’d go to dinner, and as soon as they were seated at their table, she’d disappear.

The vanishing act would continue all night – right after entrée, again after main and then once dessert had finished. She’d be gone for fifteen minutes at a time, leaving him at the table alone with nothing to do but cop the quizzical glances from the wait staff.

The thing was, this girl is absolutely gorgeous. Impeccably so.

Never a hair out of place, nor a smudge of mascara on her cheek or even so much as a speck of parsley in her teeth.

Upkeep like that means logging some serious maintenance hours, though they were going to waste on M, who thought she looked beautiful all the time and wished she would just sit down and enjoy their night together.

It’s much like owning a high-performance vehicle – their high-octane fuel is French Champagne, a weekly blow dry is the equivalent of a hand detailing and instead of alloy mags, high maintenance girls sport shiny Louboutins.

Nights out on the town are preceded by eight hours of spa/hair/pedi/spray tan appointments and even trips to do the grocery shopping require a full face of makeup.

While we all have the propensity to “want it the way I want it” (As Sally explained it when Harry accused her of being high maintenance) sometimes, when your greatest talent is applying perfect lip liner, you be becoming too high maintenance for your own good.

Being high maintenance doesn’t just pertain to looking glam.

Let us count the ways: people who order off menu, dates who are so emotionally needy that you can’t pay attention to anything or anyone else for even a second. The ones that won’t go swimming because their hair will go frizzy.

Men aren’t getting off lightly either. With the new breed of metrosexuals comes a curious subset – the high maintenance male. Chamomile-drinking, bronzer-wearing, don’t-talk-when-the-footy-is-on men who are frustrating their women just as much.

One common trait of all high maintenance beaus is that they’re hard to please.

R took his lady to Paris – planned and paid for the trip of a lifetime. When they arrived at the Eiffel tower all she had to say was “Oh. It’s smaller than I thought.”

Tough crowd.

There’s the girl whose man bought her the BMW she’d been lusting after, then told him to get rid of it because it was too hard to park.

“What they’re trying to do,” says R. “Is find their happiness through another person or through possessions and it doesn’t happen like that – they decide one day that they deserve more and they want others to give it to them. Suddenly nothing is ever good enough.”

He adds that he feels sorry for high maintenance types, who are always pre-occupied with whatever’s going on for them and never able to just relax and enjoy themselves.

If any of this sounds familiar (and we can all attest to behaviour like this sometimes) then stop and take stock.

The thing about high maintenance is that it’s tiresome work to upkeep. Sure, make yourself happy, but don’t expect others to put in that much effort. They may eventually decide it’s just not worth it.

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Author |

Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.


3 comments for “When the Eiffel Tower is Just Too Small”

  1. Posted by Sholandinho | May 13, 2012, 7:13 pm

    I think the last paragraph is much familliar to my thought about my ex_girl, making conversation online and why she was me for a credit card. I may say, high maintenance is coming ahead_of

  2. Posted by J.D | May 27, 2012, 12:33 pm


    Talk about taking a bad thing too far. I’ve also dated emotionally high maintenance women. Every perceived slight is recorded for future reference, no occasion complete without a pout. I asked, “what’s wrong?” so much I began to think it was her name. Still crazy over her but we broke up in under a month. My nerves couldn’t take it.

  3. Posted by Freek | October 6, 2012, 1:31 am

    If the Eiffel tower is too small. You may visit the Arc d’triompf

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