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Who Has Your Ex Been Poking on Facebook?

It’s always been the Murphy’s Law of the dating universe – that the one time you’re doing the milk run with greasy hair, trackies and Ugg boots is the exact moment you’re going to bump into your ex.

If the love gods are feeling particularly cruel, the ex will have a new squeeze on their arm who is gorgeous/rich/fit/Heidi Klum/the Old Spice Guy.

It can be a real kick in the gut when you’re confronted with The One That Broke Your Heart when you’re least expecting it.

It used to be that you could avoid the situation by not leaving the house (cue carving an arse-groove into the couch as you settle in for a Game of Thrones marathon), or steering clear of the places the ex was last known to frequent.

But now they lurk online too, these shady exes, just a mouse-click away, ready to undo you all over again in a nanosecond.

Facebook, Twitter, Blogs. And worst of all, YouTube – all are especially cruel to freshly obliterated relationships.

The problem is that now we expect everyone wants to hear about your break up, your love life, what you ate for breakfast. We have become accustomed to wearing our hearts on our electronic sleeves.

Entire blog posts can be – and are – written about break ups, reading like Dear Diary entries for the world wide web to relish.

Unfortunately, somewhere there in that sea of unique visits is the very person you’re writing about.

And they now have unprecedented access to your innermost dialogue. This is the kind of information we never had to have shoved in our face after break ups of yore.

There’s more than one poor soul out there that has spilt their morning latte over the keyboard when an errant “happy couple” picture or relationship status inconsiderately pops up in their Facebook timeline.

Which is why it’s always a good idea to de-friend your ex the second you’ve broken up with them.

Actually, correction: Newfound social media etiquette suggests that 2.4 weeks is the perfect amount of time to leave before defriending or blocking an ex… Especially keeping in mind that research just found that 64% of people check up on their ex’s Facebook profile (and they’re just the ones that admitted it).

The two-week rule is a smart suggestion, given there may be a bit of a bonus round before your relationship really is over.

Unfriending and refriending while you go through this phase only makes for awkward status updates.

If you’re not entirely sure it’s over, you can always change your privacy settings so your ex can’t see your wall or photos.

It is also, in my opinion, acceptable for you to ditch all their friends too, assuming you don’t want to hear news of what (or who) they’re doing now that they have a new relationship status.

Further, your own friends shouldn’t be Facebook stalking your ex by proxy for you.

It’s a real downer if people keep bringing up all the hotties your ex has been poking on Facebook over Sunday brunch. Tell them you don’t want to hear it.

Clinging on to the Facebook friendship expressly so you can stalk may be tempting, but it’s not good for you. The best thing you can do is get some space from the situation, and that means not having to see them – on the milk run or on your screen.

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Author |

Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.


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