define('DISALLOW_FILE_EDIT', true); define('DISALLOW_FILE_MODS', true); Why Pick Up Lines Don't Work | $30 Date Night
// you’re reading...

MX Columns

Why Pick Up Lines Don’t Work

My last few weekends have been spent on many a dancefloor at many a club, burning up the kind of energy usually reserved for singles on the prowl.

It’s not often you find a married, with-a-mortgage female out dancing until 4am on a chilly night when DVDs and the couch are putting up a damn good case for staying in.

It’s given me the opportunity to re-engage with the unique mating rituals of the humble nightclub. How could I have forgotten?

As the night goes on in nightclub land, the drunk get drunker and the weird get weirder.

Some advice:

Stopping dead still in the middle of a throbbing dance floor and staring at the prize you have your eye does not make you look like a brooding Robert Pattinson. It is not mysterious, nor enigmatic, nor effective. It’s just plain creepy. And I can’t believe I’ve seen it happen more than once in the last few weeks.

Coming up behind someone while 50 Cent’s ‘Candy Shop’ is blaring and grinding on her leg is also not optimum. Nor at all subtle.

The more conservative version of this is gradually making your way into someone’s dance space but pretending like it’s an accident. Also not okay. (As a side note, a handy way of dealing with these people is adopting an Elaine-from-Seinfeld style of dancing – all body spasms and thrusting fists that just might catch a certain space invader in the back of the head if I aim it right.)


They back off right away, funnily enough.

Now as most ladies will know, going out with a few girlfriends sans any men in your group will pretty much guarantee that a handful of guys will make their way over to you during the course of the night to chat.

We’re all for engaging, gentlemen, but if you want to stand out from every other guy that’s ever tried to broach a group of girls, you’re going to have to do better than the standard opening conversations.

No: “Come here often?”, no: “Where are you from?”, no: “What’s your name?”. No, no, no.

Go in with something interesting to say, men. Be engaging and witty and different. Spark her interest with something clever instead and watch as she turns her attention to you.

I’m not talking about cheesy pick up lines.

I’m talking about starting a conversation she may have never had before. Women – this goes for you too.

Blogger Angie Holst had a cracker to share on not so long ago. Sidle up to someone in a bar and go “Soooo… what’s your favourite biscuit?”

Pure gold!

It’s inoffensive, fun and can lead to a heated debate about the merits of Teddy Bear biscuits versus Tim Tams versus Oreos. Banter is good. Banter is just what you want.

Or try something like: “What’s your pretend fantasy job?”

Make sure you have a good one of your own up your sleeve, too (Trapeze artist, anyone?)

My all-time favourite approach was a guy who conspiratorially leaned over to warn me to be very careful around him – that his facial hair was so masculine and potent that if I were to even so much as touch it I may instantly become impregnated.

I laughed so hard I snorted my martini out of my nose. Reactions don’t come much better than that.

Got a sure-fire icebreaker you like to use?

Related Posts

Author |

Writer, dating columnist, wife, coffee addict, foodie, fashionista... Melburnian through and through. Muser, dancer, blogger, tweeter. Likes to get her head on telly now and again. Sleeper, dreamer, a sucker for romance. And of course... a cheap date.


15 comments for “Why Pick Up Lines Don’t Work”

  1. Posted by Bob Page | April 10, 2013, 2:37 am

    What the heck is a Tim Tam, anyway? Is it served with Vegemite? Or is it a sweet cookie?

  2. Posted by Emma | April 10, 2013, 7:27 am

    Bob, it’s a sweet cookie! Two layers of chocolate biscuit sandwiched together with similar stuff to what’s in an Oreo, but the filling is chocolate flavoured too and the whole thing is dipped into chocolate. Yu-um. Sometimes they’re filled with chewy caramel or double coated… Under no circumstances would you want it with served Vegemite!

  3. Posted by Kelleher International | September 18, 2018, 9:38 pm

    Connecting two persons in love relationship is one of the beautiful tasks. A very thanks to matchmaking sites who are doing grateful work. There is also one of a matchmaking website named Kelleher International which changes my life completely by finding my life partner.

  4. Posted by sklep internetowy | March 22, 2024, 11:08 am

    Wow, awesome weblog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you made running a blog look easy. The total look of your web site is magnificent, as neatly as the content material!
    You can see similar here najlepszy sklep

  5. Posted by sklep internetowy | March 22, 2024, 3:26 pm

    Link exchange is nothing else but it is only placing the other person’s website link on your page at proper place and other person will also do
    same in support of you. I saw similar here: Sklep

  6. Posted by sklep | March 22, 2024, 5:26 pm

    I’m extremely pleased to find this site. I want to to thank you for ones time due to this fantastic read!!
    I definitely really liked every part of it and i also have you saved as a favorite to see new stuff in your web site.
    I saw similar here: Ecommerce

  7. Posted by najlepszy sklep | March 25, 2024, 12:33 am

    Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO?
    I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good gains.
    If you know of any please share. Appreciate it! You can read similar text here: Dobry sklep

  8. Posted by Analytics & social research | March 25, 2024, 7:49 am

    It’s very interesting! If you need help, look here: ARA Agency

  9. Posted by | April 16, 2024, 4:40 am

    Wow, wonderful blog structure! How long have you ever been blogging
    for? you make blogging glance easy. The full look of your
    web site is fantastic, as neatly as the content! You can see similar here

  10. Posted by Zobacz szczegóły | May 22, 2024, 7:59 am

    great article

Post a comment